A Sad Loss to My Snacking

A Sad Loss to My Snacking

Kieran Hoskinson, Writer

Today is a hard day. I ask you to open your heart and hear what I have to say. Tears may fall, and that is a normal response, for even the gods weep at my sad, pitiful tale. Today, we discuss Flaming Hot Cheetos, and why I must say goodbye.

Now I could go deep into the components of what Flaming Hot Cheetos are made off. Such as the mass amounts of seasoning applied to each and every cheeto that is known the cause inflammation and irritation in the stomach, as well as the massive amount of saturated fat they stuff in, the hardest fat to break down. We could also discuss the annoying red stains that these Cheetos are so kindly handing out. But instead ill focus on my morbid story on the brutality I faced at the hands of this snack. My tummy hurt.

Im sure im not the only one who feels this way after this delightful snack. One night you’re enjoying a noce movie with you choice of chip (In this cas Flaming Hot Cheetos), and after you fall asleep peacefully on your nice warm bed. All of this, only to wake up feeling you were hit by a truck (probably the effects of the seasoning). In all my years writing, you all should know by now that I’m no quitter, I’ll stick through anything and see it to the end. From delving deep into the horrors of processed carrots to answering the unanswerable question, but, all the strong must fauler one day. Ill blowing out the torch, fighting no longer, no longer taking this pain at the cost of a deviously delicious snack. I’m no longer going to consume Flaming Hot Cheetos. Or in layman’s terms, making a healthy decision (that sounds better anyway).

I hope with this story now under your belt, your life becomes easier in some way. Remember, never falter at the hands of something weaker than you, but never be afraid to let go of something that pains you. For me, no more tummy pain. For you, well, only time will tell.