Hippos, a Menace at Large

Hippos, a Menace at Large

Kieran Hoskinson, Writer

Deep from the boundless depths of the water lies a truly horrid creature. A mass of blubber and muscle. A creature so terrifying that it’s”cute” appearance may fool you, hiding the terrible power it holds. Hippos.

I’ll just come right out and say it, even I, fearless writer of a news site, am scared beyond belief by hippos. In fact, if there is one place I would rather die than step into, it’s Africa. Or as I consider it, the hippos playground. I don’t care if I am on the other side of the continent from them, If there is not a sea separating me from them- then I am too close.

Now I’m sure you are wondering, what could possible be so scary about them. After all, what is so scary about the worlds deadliest land mammal? Worst comes to worst you just run away right? No. The fastest human in  recorded history, Usain Bolt, can only ever run a top speed of 27.8 miles an hour. Hippos on the other hand run at a top speed of 30 miles an hour. In other words. You have a better chance of surviving an attack from a silver back gorilla than you do a large blubbery blob, and I only comfortable saying that because I got a good amount of water between them and I.

For those of you thinking that you could just swim away, I will  just tell you you are dead wrong, literally. The average human swimming speed is about 2 miles an hour, while the fastest ever comes in at 4.7 miles an hour. If you somehow manage to out swim a hippo, then I would  bow down to you and consider you a god. Of course, the only thing you have to do swim faster that 19 miles an hour. And no, weaving around will not work. Hippos can not swim, they run, underwater, so you wont see them coming until its too late.

With that said, enjoy your trip to Africa. I wish you the best.