There are a large number of people who have ugly cried before, cried in despondence, in engagement. People who had, at one point, lunged into a pit of despair or a spiral of negative emotions could never seem to understand why they were having it or how to make sense of those emotions in general. People who dig into their skin every time they had to present a slideshow or people who made their slideshow look the best in a desperate attempt to hoard as much attention from their peers as possible. Then, when finally, they had found the courage to talk to someone or when they had ever talked to someone about their everlasting hopelessness, their growing yearning to end what they started, they had heard the day-to-day, 

“Don’t give up” or “it gets better.”

 For some, these phrases would reach their soul, and they would build upon themselves, learn step by step to love themselves again, genuinely wanting to continue living at some point, even if they didn’t notice this change in their behavior themselves. But, inevitably, for some people, nothing anyone could ever say, nothing they would engrave in their mind, would ever engrave into their hearts. 

Why does this phenomenon occur? This can take place for a variety of reasons. For example, Jim Folk and Marilyn Folk state,

 “A person who is a rigid thinker might be resistant to making the appropriate behavioral changes because she doesn’t agree with them.”

 Some people may subconsciously have different views on the advice they are being given. For someone to find a better mindset and follow through with the advice and resources that are available to them, they need to have the same views or have the ability to change their mindset in general. Further proven by Heidi Young, 

“Sometimes it’s personality, sometimes it’s just not liking the answer I’ve given.”

When in some cases, people think that seeing her is not working, she finds that sometimes it is because of their mindset clashing with hers. People need to want to change, and people need to agree to change to make a difference in their everyday behavior. 

This is proven by Lily O’Connor when she says, “Therapy can be really helpful for people, not all people though because everyone copes differently” Everyone has their preference, and sometimes the preference of the therapist and the patient simply doesn’t match up. 

 Something that even further proves this is when Jim Folk and Marilyn Folk say yet again, 

“A person who is overly sensitive to criticism might perceive the therapist’s recommendations as criticism rather than highlighting areas for growth.”

 Even people who go to therapy, people who go to trained professionals in psychology can’t escape the fact that if they don’t want to change, or they don’t believe in the method of change, they will never make progress. People are often attached to their way of thinking or belief due to it being in their mind space as normal, or “right”. But, this simply constrains them from moving forward from the bad habits that they had accumulated, even if they are extremely minuscule. An example of this could even be eating excessively every single day to the point of obesity.

 It’s not healthy, and some people who do it know that as a fact but they just can’t quite break out of their bad habit. Whenever they get the advice they could get angry at the person trying to help them, saying that they are being fatphobic. Of course, it is okay to be more plus-sized or overweight, just as long as you are healthy. But the simple truth is that in this scenario the person is eating too much and due to their fixed mindset they can’t improve themselves. 

Additionally, for some people. The reason that they can’t get a grasp on their mental health is the fact that the root of their problems hasn’t gotten any better, or that they are continuing to spiral out of control. They are told day after day that everything could get better but nothing changes. When someone says to them that there would be change but nothing happens, they are subconsciously losing the trust of the person they are trying so desperately to help. Again and again, they are giving the person a false sense of security that gets so easily crushed in weeks, days, minutes, and seconds from being told them. Within a repeated period, they would begin to wonder if anything they were told is true. This creates a larger hole for them to sink into, adding to their previous problems, they now need to face the hard thought that it will never get better. 

But this simply isn’t true, life gets better. Perhaps not fully better, but by a little bit, life could be brighter, and could be so much more enjoyable with the right mindset. 75% percent on average of people who go to therapy genuinely improve, or “get better”. That is 75% of people who could live life without a large boulder weighing on their chest or the feeling of walking with needles in their shoes. Yes, they might still have problems with their life they need to sort out but that is 75% of people who learned how to do something productive and healthy about it and learned how to cope with the things they can’t control. Therapy does in the long run help a majority of people, but you just need to have the mindset ready for change first.