Do you believe in soulmates? What even is a soulmate? Webster’s dictionary defines it as “a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament”. This means the soulmates can be friends or lovers. Not exclusively one or the other. So what makes a soulmate? In “Do You Believe in Soulmates? Should You?”, Psychology Today article written by Alexandra H. Solomon, couples therapist and relationship educator. Alexandra lists what “makes a soulmate”.
1. Your soulmate is your perfect match
2. Your soulmate is your bashert or “match made in heaven”
3. Your soulmate is your fellow traveler
4. Your soulmate wakes you up
She is mostly focussed on a kind of checklist for what a soulmate is. She stays very focussed on not only your soulmate being perfect for you but also perfectly fit for your needs in every aspect. In contrast, a different article from Brides by Christine Coppa “What Is a Soulmate—and How to Know if You’ve Found Yours,” is also focussed on what makes a soulmate, examples of what could be considered a soulmate and different kinds of soulmates. She quotes that finding a soulmate is “ ‘the realization that this person who shares your life is a part of yourself’ says family and marital psychologist Dr. Michael Tobin” (Coppa).
The idea of soulmates had been discussed for centuries. Since ancient Greece the philosophy of soulmates has been around maybe even earlier. It was said that in the beginning humans had four arms and legs and possessed both sexual organs. Zeus felt threatened by their existence so he decided to split them into two and the two halves would spend the rest of eternity fighting to find their other perfect half.
I asked a local couples counselor at Thrive Wellness Clinic, Janell Jordan, who’s been a couples counselor over 20 years now if she thought soulmates were real in her experience with couples. Her thoughts were that “[soulmates] are real, though [she] wouldn’t call them that. Some couples who come in naturally just click. They have a very natural bond and they just work better together.”
There are also different kinds of soulmates. The article attached lists 12 different kinds of soulmates there are. Some among the list are as followed:
1. Soul partners. This can be anyone like a friend or sibling. Not necessarily romantic
2. Soul ties. This could be an animal or pet where you just feel a natural connection to your pet like it was meant to be your pet.
3. Past life soulmates. This kind of soulmate seems almost as if you’ve known this person your whole life so people say that they were your soulmate in your past life and that extends into your current life so when you meet them there’s just a natural connection
4. Romantic soul mates. This is the typical kind of thing that comes to mind when people talk about soulmates. It’s what in the movies is about meeting the person that was “made for you”. It was predetermined that you were meant to be with this person.
5. Twin flames. Twin flames have their own theory behind them. A theory that believes “twin flames are actually one soul that was split into two bodies”. So it kind of ties back to the ancient Greeks theory. This kind of soulmate doesn’t have to be romantic.
Soulmates are fun to theorize about and have discussions about. I think it would be really cool if soulmates were real. If it was predetermined that we were made for someone. If you were secretly tied together by fate. I don’t know if I believe in them, I think that soulmates can be made. While there are people who just work better together, relationships like that don’t just happen, I think they need work and time just like anything else you want to last. I hope you can find your own soulmate connection.